Your smile slit the darkness in my soul, and my heart rejoiced in that space.
Through loving moments it became my goal to forever see your face.
Exploring a new world made for two, and you my heart did truly love,
Alone, once solo, now embraced my role to forever see your face.
Snow white gown in wedded bliss, a foreign aisle we glided down,
To each other promised a lifetime, whole to forever see your face.
Love like a bubbling broth overflowed, intertwined in creative force,
As our eyes looked upon small kindred souls to forever see your face.
Your shoulder my rock, you held my hand as news shook our world that grim day,
And by me did stand as my hope they stole to forever see your face.
Though lines are etched from years of life, I will cherish the time that remains
As we descend the other side this knoll, to forever see your face.
Ghazal attempt – check.
My favorite line in this is: “Love like a bubbling broth overflows, intertwined in creative force”.
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Thanks. 🙂
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The undying devotion in the voice of your ghazal rings throughout your stanzas. My favorite line is the last; our lives as a knoll to stroll down. There were a few verb tenses that confused me: “overflows” and “did stand.” I’m not sure why those aren’t in past tense like the rest of the poem (except “will cherish,” I understand why that’s in future). Nice work!
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Thanks for the feedback. I see what you mean. Once these go up, can they still be edited?
The ghazal form was daunting. I didn’t think I’d be able to pull anything together, but I kind of like how it turned out.
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Edit away, Cathy!
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I tried my hand at it. Daunting doesn’t seem to cover it 🙂
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Beautifully expressed! “Though lines are etched from years of life, I will cherish the time that remains
As we descend the other side this knoll, to forever see your face.” Lovely lines. 🙂
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Thank you. 🙂
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